The Gym - A Social Paradox

Have you ever noticed the strange behavior of some individuals at the gym? For some reason, all rules of social propriety are off once you slip into some spandex and sneakers. Yesterday, I had this guy walk up to the cardio machine I was on and use it as a stretching area. He put his leg up onto the front hand rest bars of the machine I was on and started stretching his hamstrings. Now, the machine I was on was slightly elevated, so this guy's leg is basically at eye level and he stretching and sighing and I've never wanted to box someone in the nuts so bad. WTF was he doing? And he wasn't even that flexible! He could barely get his leg up there. And there's a stretch area at the gym specifically for that purpose. I looked to my right to get sympathy from my neighbor, only to find that it was Sammy Snot Rocket, the guy who blows his nose on the gym hand towels.

I finally escape these assholes, only to find a little Asian guy asleep on a mat in the middle of the stretching area. A woman I most definitely did not know then walks buy and waves emphatically at me, and I decide I have had enough weirdness for one night. I go to the women's locker room to retrieve my gym bag, only to have a naked woman start asking me how the weather's supposed to be for the weekend. Sorry, lady. I can't hear you over YOUR BUSH!

AAAAHHHH!