The Original Alan Greenspan

After some thought, I realized the financial world revolves around the whims of Alan Greenspan. However, my father has been implementing the most severe economical principles for ages and interest rates have never reacted to him. Now honestly, who but the most dedicated economist would do the following:

• serve his child watered down orange juice and half buttered toast
  
• wash all the mirrors in a 2 1/2 bath house with one paper towel
  
• hand you half a napkin at dinner time
  
• water down the soap in the dispenser until only CSI can tell that it did indeed at some point lather
  
• empty the disposable vacuum bag instead of replacing it
  
• use business cards, envelopes, newspaper scraps and pretty much any other unused paper as post it notes
  
• waits 'til all books come out in paperback and make their way to used book stores
  
• takes a year to use a $20 giftcard at Barnes & Noble while somehow making 3 separate purchases with it
  

And the list goes on. My father, Michael Hession: 8th Wonder of the World.