How much wood could a woodchuck chuck...?

So I've discovered a new measure for health. Before we used the old standbys of weight, blood pressure, cholesterol levels, etc. But I've discovered a far superior, more scientifically accurate method. How many lint roller sheets does it take you to de-lint? Think about it. We're talking surface area. What is the size of your land mass? Get a true measure of how much space you're taking up in the world and whether you're hogging a little too much real estate.

The lint roller test can also diagnose another, possibly related health issue. If you have a high sheet count, and it's only partially due to weight, how many cats do you have? There are several extended details that would need to be collected to get a full diagnosis of this secondary health issue. Do you live alone? Do you live with your parents? Do you talk to the cats? Do you take them on walks wearing cat harnesses? Do you push them in a baby carriage?