A recent email from the president of the company where I work:


"When Bob McGuire ordered the covers for the 11 Bed Systems, 11 Fold up Camping Chairs were included at no charge.

As a result, these Fold up Camping Chairs are available.

If you are interested in any of them, let the receptionist know how many, 1 or 2 preferably, by the end of the day Monday 7/31 and we will draw the names of those who are interested to see who gets them.


Mr. President of Where I Work"

Is it me, or could he make giving out free camping chairs any more complicated? I can just hear the chat around the watercooler. 'Hey, did you enter the chair raffle?' 'Yeah, I really hope I get one.' WTF? THEY'RE FOLD UP CHAIRS! God forbid you just give them away! What if there's only one chair left and they draw the name of someone who requested two? What then? I hope there are tight rules for this raffle. Or else I'm petitioning for a re-raffle!

I almost didn't survive the irony of Ryan Seacrest breaking the news that Lance Bass is gay.

I stole this and I'm not sorry.

"Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Coca Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink." Coke will market the new concoction by the name of: 'MOUNT & DO.'"

Missy Elliot makes me want to try dance moves a white person shouldn't even consider.

Ashley Simpson has a taste for irony: her new video features her boxing, an activity any girl with a new nose would NEVER attempt.

Gnarls Barkley has a new smash hit 'Crazy.' But even crazier are the people calling in requesting that new song by Charles Barkley. What???

Paris Hilton even has a hit. We've officially hit rock bottom. I'm totally convinced the American people wouldn't know good music if it took a dump on their faces.

That's it. If I had too many thoughts on Pop Music I'd be worried about me.

Note: Okay, I know we all get Forwards and yes, some people need to be barred from Internet access. But this one is somehow near and dear to my heart so it's worth a post.

Scenario: You are travelling in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a double decker bus and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level. Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also traveling at the same speed as you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?



Answer: Get off the children's Merry Go Round, you're hammered.